Little things
by AnnaFIRTH
Summary: Set after, AFTER HOURS. Jim Beckett gets home and recalls the moments spent with his wife.


_**Hello everyone! **_

_**I was re-watching After Hours last night and this came to my mind. It's basically Jim Beckett remembering Johanna, and their live together.**_

_**I KNOW I WROTE SOMETHING SIMILAR TWO WEEKS AGO BUT AFTER THE EPISDODE I JUST HAD TO DO IT.**_

_**ENJOY!**_

_**THIS GOES TO HELEN, NEN AND LISA COS NOW WE SHIP THE BECKETTs! **_

* * *

Kate leads me out off Rick's building, walking shoulder to shoulder, like we used to do when she was a kid.

I turn around to face my daughter, who is still wearing the same beautiful clothes she had on while our awkward dinner with the parents, only now her hair is down.

"You know…" I begin, "your hair looks nice up."

Kate shyly smiles up at me, "Thanks dad."

"I'm glad you two finally crossed the line." I joke, "No, seriously Katie, I'm so happy for you."

"I am too."

"Rick's good for you and as Martha told me before, you are good for him too."

"We do complement each other pretty well, yeah." Kate admits letting out a little laugh, leading our conversation to a comfortable silence.

"Your mom would've loved him, you know that." I state.

It's true, my wife, my beautiful long gone partner and Kate's mother would have loved Rick Castle.

"I know dad. Sometimes I… She's just missing out so much. I wish she would still be here; you'd be happy and so would I."

"I know, Katie…" I whisper as I wrap my arms around her, "I miss her so much." I confess trying not to sob, "but it's fine. You are here and that's what matters right now."

We pull away and stare at each other.

"You gonna be okay?" Kate asks.

"Yes, don't worry." I say, finally letting go off my daughter to get into the car.

"Love you dad!"

"Me too Katie. Me too." I say closing the door.

I watch Kate stare at me driving down the street, away from her and the conversation we just had about her mother.

Johanna Beckett.

_My wife._

I know Kate misses her, a lot, like way too much but with Castle she has found the balance. He makes her forget about her past and live the present. And she's thankful for that.

Thankful to have someone in whom to believe and trust.

_And love._

I know she's afraid to say the words, I know it's going to take her days and nights, but just like her mother did with me, she well open up to Castle.

* * *

Thirty minutes later I arrive home, unlock the front door, and step in to my house. _Our house._

The place Johanna, Katie and I lived when my wife was still alive and Kate was a little kid running and giggling around.

Everyone told me to move to the city, to leave the house that made me remember, and still does; they told me to leave the past aside, leave it behind. But stubborn as always I didn't sell the house, neither moved out. I couldn't leave the past behind; I just couldn't erase twenty-two years of happy marriage and thirty years in love with the same person. Johanna, you were always there for me; since the first time our eyes meet, at the Law faculty in Columbia, to the day I gathered all the courage and asked you out.

Our first kiss and our remarkable first time. The connection we felt was unbelievable, something new. Something we learnt to manage and to drive it. Something that told us that we were different, that we were meant to stay together, and so we did.

We got married and had Katie. Our amazing daughter. A little girl that grew to an amazing teenager and now, to anunbelievable beautiful woman.

_A gorgeous lady._

_Just like you._

Your smile drove me nuts, and still does every time I look at the picture hanging off the wall of our bedroom. Your perfect green eyes, those perfect round circles that dragged me in the first time I saw you.

Your hair and your face.

_And you, all of you._

I miss you a lot Johanna, and it hurts me not to be there, wherever you are, with you. It hurts me to know that you are missing out so much. It breaks me to realize that Kate left Stanford and entered the Police Academy to find your killer and she hasn't yet; but to be honest, I think she likes the job. She has amazing friends there, people that care about her and have cheered her up when she's down, in days like your birthday or the day you left us. And here is when it comes Rick. Yeah, Richard Castle the author you loved so much is dating our daughter, Johanna. He's such an amazing man and father of a teenage girl. Our baby is dating her one and done and she might not see it, yet, but I know Rick is the one for her.

He looks at her the same way I looked at you. She caresses his hand on the table while having dinner, like you used to squeeze mine.

I know I went crazy when you left; I know I turned into alcohol rather than asking for help and I'm so ashamed of that. But I wasn't in the mood of anything else. I was a mess, a heart-breaking mess and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

I have tried to move on, find someone but that hasn't worked out. I still see you everywhere I look. I smell your perfume every time I open your closet and your clothes are still hanging there; your shoes and complements; even your make up stuff and all your face moisturisers. Everything is still the way you left it because this way I feel like you are around.

I will never forget you Johanna, I will never forget our morning kiss and the good night one. Our looks while sitting at opposite sights in Law class or the reunions at work.

How your cheeks turned to red every time I winked hello at you, or how you managed to steal a smile whenever you stood close to me, or when you handed me a coffee mug and bruised your thin and soft fingers over mine.

Those little things that will be forever in my mind and in my heart.

_I love you, Johanna and I hope to see you sometime soon._

* * *

_**Thoughts?**_


End file.
